Man ual

Here I am... supposed to be doing a million things... correction... was supposed to do a million things over the weekend... here I sit... wishing I had a man ual.
A manual to say do this do that and then this and that will happen. A step by step procedure that I could skim over, and then go through in detail and know that after following each step I land up somewhere... anywhere but here...
I once wrote a poem... actually 3 years and 20 days ago (I was going through an old journal)... it goes like this...

Oh the Sundays of my discontent
Where's the time gone, how was it spent?
Alas, I know, this much is true
I've wasted too much time thinking of you.
I want to scream I want to shout
I want to rave and rant about.
As the rain pours down and I lay on my bed
I want to hide with the covers over my head.
I must carry on, I must proceed
While my love for you lives indeed.
Get out of my head my thoughts my heart
It tears me up that we must be apart.
It's been only 5 days since you went
Oh the Sundays of my discontent.

Wow, that was 3 years ago... Garth has a really great song which completely pertains to that episode in my life: Thank God for Unanswered Prayers. Phewf, thank goodness things with that guy never worked out. Otherwise, I'd be knee deep in manure (for real - he was a rancher). You know what really gets me now, now that I'm three years wiser - this guy never really "got" me, there was so much he never appreciated. I don't want to ever be in that kind of a relationship again...

I suppose this should give me hope and feed my faith that life goes on, everything happens for a reason, yada yada yada... How is it that 95% of human are in significant pair bonds? Nice statistic, eh? What makes me so "special" to be part of the 5% which sits here wishing she had the man ual which the other 95% apparently got, but me and my fellow compadres so obviously did not get... did I miss that day in school? Sigh... oh the Sundays of my discontent... thank goodness there's only 3 minutes of this day left...