Sunday, November 06, 2005

What speaks to me...

One of my favorite all time author/poets/illustrators: Shel Silverstein, From Falling Up


The Voice
There is a voice inside of you
That whispers all day long,
"I feel that this is right for me,
I know that this is wrong."
No teacher, preacher, parent, friend
Or wise man can decide
What's right for you - just listen to
The voice that speaks inside.


Where was that conent feeling I had about being single and focusing on my career? I'm really struggling with finding that sense of peace again. Remember my online dating guy who I met recently and who instantly started talking about the "big picture" - the one who scared me away? Well, somehow, we managed to continue talking however; we stepped back from the relationship arena. But then, I finally start to actually make an emotional connection with him, and we start making plans to start seeing each other again, and then... he tells me that he started dating a family friend he's known over half his life when I ended things and now he has to figure out if things are going to work for them.

I'm angry at myself for running away the first time then for unlocking that emotional door by talking to him and now for not moving on expeditiously. He is someone who I connected with right away; I can always tell when he is thinking of me, or when something has happened to him - it's one of those things you can't explain. I wish I wasn't still "connected". I wish I could quiet the voice of regret, shush the sense of hope that in time we will have our second chance and start singing another tune because I'm driving me crazy...

2 Comments:

Blogger DrinkJack said...

We must live in the present. The past can't be changed and the future can't be predicted. Don't play the woulda, coulda, shoulda game. You will not move forward without opening up some and taking chances. Someone I know helped me understand that ;)

Sunday, November 06, 2005 9:05:00 p.m.  
Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

You will open the emotional door when you feel you do not have to keep your emotional gaurd up, the chemistry we call love is what makes this happen.

Monday, November 07, 2005 1:22:00 p.m.  

Post a Comment

<< Home