In with the new...

Very liberating moment yesterday... they changed my email and login in name back to my maiden name at work. It feels very official and very satisfying. It's good to be back to me and my name.

I had a very bizarre moment this week. I went to talk about my ex-husband and someone asked me which one. My jaw dropped to the floor. Uhhhhh..... Wow, I have 2 ex-husbands... am I now one of those soap opera characters on TV? It sure felt like it for a second. So I think I will have to be more specific... my children's father and then my ex-husband. Oh, how did I get to be a double divorcee? I will never marry again, this I know for sure. I do not need to be a missus to be in a committed relationship.

Off to my life as a soap opera character in a non-romantic satiric dramatic play I call Living.

Merci Moments

1. homemade soup and fresh buns and a glass of cabernet sauvignon
2. dreamy men in movies and still being young enough at heart to have a crush on them
3. casting doubt and catching confidence

Out with the old...

I am willing to let go of the fact that I am not a simple woman; that I probably will never lead a simple life of meatloaf on Mondays and fried chicken on Thursdays.

If you move quickly enough in a pool of still water, anything on the surface will be drawn into contact with the moving body. My life is a series of events of one sort of contact or another... good and bad... while I always stay afloat, sometimes those around me struggle and splash about. I am too tired to continue to throw life preservers to those who should learn how to swim or at least float for their own survival...

Sigh... out with the old...

My place has morphed into my own once again. I love it. I am happy.

Merci Moments for 2009:
1. My health; 2 surgeries in the last 2 years and a clean bill of health... merci.
2. My mind; I am a Masters student and joyfully pursuing my academic and professional career...merci.
3. My resliency; I continue to live beyond surviving... merci.

Looking forward to the new... new year... new decade... new life alone with all those around me and happy.

Happy New Year! Cheers!

Single Again...

What a strange ride I've been on... a roller coaster, a merry-go-round, a ball-pit, a drop-of-doom...

Here I am, back on my hortus conclusus... my Sam's Muse... where to begin... ah...

Merci Moments... I am grateful for:
1. my new bed
2. volition
3. my strength

I missed this place. I will be posting more often for no other reason other than to hear my own words across the computer screen...

Oh my heart

I'm having such a hard time tonight... in the last few months, there have been 5 people who have passed on... I miss them, the world suffers a loss without them...

I am sad. Tears run down my face. There is no one in my caller ID to phone for such an instance. How do I find in the staff directory: empathatic, sympathetic, unrealistic, realistic...

Woooo weeee - I took this :)

"We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about." -- Albert Einstein

Thinking Ahead...

I've been really thinking about my focus for 2008... I realize I'm getting older. Don't get me wrong, I don't think this is a bad thing or that I'm going through a sense of impending doom... I just realize that I'm not in my 20s anymore, I am 36 years old.
I am so happy with the stage that I'm at. I was a single mom of three girls for 6 years, I went back to school, and now I have a secure career. I have I don't feel the need to add to the current world population... I'm getting married next summer :) ... we make a terrific family... I love my house and the home I've created.
I can actually ask myself... what do you want to do? Not what do I have to do... but what do I really want to do? When I try to create a peaceful moment to truly reflect on this question - it's a cacophony! There's this writer, this poet, this musician, this instructor, this partner, this parent, this daughter, this entrepeneur, this scholar, this athlete, this home decorator, this photographer, this artist, this seamstress, this cook, this lady of leisure all screaming for top spot.... phewf I can exhaust me sometimes.