Monday, December 31, 2007

Goddess of Furnaces

I'm good. I woke up this morning and it was freezing cold. I, put a turkey in the oven, and then I, all by myself, fixed my furnace. Yes, me. (Insert smug smile)
Actually, I fooled around with it for a while and then when I finally had the repair guy on the phone, I bumped the bottom of the front panel and ta da..... What kind of day is in store for me... this last day of 2007.... hmmm....
Gone to get party "supplies"...

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Out with the old and in the with the new...

I came home with a truckload of stuff from my parents' house. They are going through all of their things and dispersing items to me and my brothers. You know, the things that have some sort of emotional connection so you can't throw them away, but the things you also know you will never use or look at again. Every time I come back from my mother's I get a new batch of things. I managed to downsize my possessions so that everything would "fit" into my house... and now I'm at a bit of a loss...
As I get ready for my company today, I'm going around with a big cardboard box and a big green garbage bag. My mission: de-clutter! I can't wait for the feeling when everything will be in it's place. For 2 years, I used to have everything I needed to live in the back of a pick-up truck. No joke, I even had my sewing machine and fabric packed... If I could do that, surely I can get rid of a little bit of clutter, right?

Friday, December 28, 2007

Merry Christmas to me!

I bought myself a new camera today! I should get it in a couple of days. I am really looking forward to my new toy. I haven't gotten myself a big ticket item in quite a while - it feels good to spoil me :)

I"m enjoying a beautiful bottle of cabernet tonight. I have 5 houseguests arriving tomorrow and I am soaking up every last minute of peace before the rush of excitement. One of my closest lifetime friends and her family are coming. I was thinking of her today and started to cry. I haven't seen her in a long time and I can hardly wait. She's the kind of person that nothing bad can happen when you're with her because you know you're going to make it through anything. Unfortunately, we cried on eachother's shoulders many times when we didn't think things could get any worse. We've had many past lives together I'm sure. We actually just found out her great uncle is my great grandfather! One more sleep and she's here...

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Happy Holidays!!!!

I'm home after being gone for way too many days!!! Yipeee!!!! I love my house, I love the smell of my house, I love the lighting in my house, I love my bed and my own shower!!!!
I had a crazy Christmas with my family, I'm not ready to process everything that just happened, I'm just glad to be home and to share the most exciting news that I'm going to be an aunty. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!

Yikes... yes, I did have just a little bit of caffeine on the drive home.... better go do some laundry or something to bring me down a little....

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Sam I Am Today ;)

Well, I finally feel like I'm back. Maybe it was the rush of shopping and geting the most excellent gifts.... eeeeeeeee!!!! I'm so excited, I can hardly wait until they open them!!!!!!! The coolest find today was at an antique store - it's an old Indian (as in made in India Indian...) calendar that's a combination of 2 rotating circles so that the months/days/years line up from 1955 until 2030. I love it a lot - it's so clever! The whole thing is about the size of a CD, it's brass and ornately painted in greens and deep reds with gold highlights. If it wasn't already so beautifully wrapped and ribboned, I'd post a picture of it.... shucks.

Gotta go christmas wrap some more...

Wednesday, December 19, 2007


Just like that, the doc walks in, says it's benign, and walks out... in stunned silence, I walk out of the office and immediately hit retail therapy with the vendors in the hospital. I had a lovely lady put together earrings from some beautiful stones I picked out, paid half price... I then drove to the "refreshment" store to stock up on liquid therapy for this evening... I'm barely on my second sip, so I'm just getting started really.

I'm waiting to relax now... I've been so wound up the last few days, I find I don't sound like "me", I don't act like "me"... this experience has changed me on a fundamental level. It seriously made me shift my core values... primarily the need to take care of myself. This experience has also scared me. It's hard to admit I was scared. Fear is something I've conquered again and again... but not this kind of fear.

I'm a little worried for that first person that tells me "I told you so... I told you that everything would be alright." I'll have to practice my toothiest grin just for that brave soul....

Posting the Time Away

OK, I'm ridiculously internet surfing... I'm just randomly going here and there passing the time. Checking and rechecking emails... At least there is only one more hour before I find out. This is so crazy frustrating. I don't wish this to happen to anyone. Sigh...

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

The Results Are In... TOMORROW

Can a whole week have already gone by? Can it already be that I find out tomorrow? How am I going to react? What will I do? I know I'm probably going to cry - either way. I always thought this kind of thing happened to other people and not to me...

My surgeon is really great, he's almost a caricature out of a book; white hair, loud booming voice, lab coat, glasses at the end of his nose, and thankfully, very, very, very, steady hands. He already knows that if these have to go, I'm getting new ones. I figure the latest model, around a C+, a little higher than the originals... this thought alone helps me cope - it distracts me...

On a positive side: I miss running - I know it's hard to believe I started running?!?! I start training for a half marathon the second week in January. I'm very excited. And vain little me loves the weight loss and the legs I used to have slowly reveal themselves once again... (insert whistle here).

I have joyfully been a non-smoker now for 4 months! I went through hypnotherapy - very cool. We talked for hours about the time in my life when I started smoking and worked from there... it was quite an emotional process. I put a lot of hang ups to rest though.

Today's goal: pictures. I've recharged my camera batteries and I want to take some pictures today. My goal is to have a couple on here by tonight.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Mmmmm Mmmmmmm....

I must be feeling better... I'm cooking and drinking cabernet at 2:30 in the afternoon. I'm even barefoot and wearing an apron and to finish the picture, Norah is crooning in the background. Sigh... smile...

Sometimes I wish I knew how to cook in smaller quantities. I tried making my famous chili and needed to go to the store twice to get more ingredients... just can't make it with only 2 lbs of ground beef. The second time was to get new muffin tins to make johnny cakes to go with my spicy yummy chili.

With all the excitement, I figure I'm pretty much done for the day. I'm on book number 4 and it's already day 5 - not so bad. If you haven't read Eat Pray Love, I highly recommend it.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Is this what I would do?

I've never really been a laze-around kinda girl... I'm finding it incredibly difficult to be still. I've had to go easy on the painkillers other than at night because I soon realized the pain at least kept me in check with what I could... or more importantly should be doing or not doing...

So I've been shopping online, I've read 3 books, I've cleaned up some of my work email, I made a beautiful homemade soup and biscuits, I played the flute (I have a new celtic music book - love it), I've joyfully talked on the phone with solicitors, I've watched movies, I've watched TV shows off the internet (EVERY episode), I had a long shower (just about passed out from the pain of removing bandages... I know, very glamorous), and I've played with my dog. So I have to ask myself... is this what I will do when I win tonight's $27 000 000 lottery?


Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Ode to T3

Oh T3 how very much I love thee
I'm waiting and pining
For your sweet divining

Oh T3 how much longer will you be
A part of me is missing
And now I'm left guessing...

Oh T3 I want to be free
As you take effect
I can only reject
Any chance that the C
Was ever inside me

Thank you T3 for making me loopy
And for making me eyes feel so droopy

Yes, you are quite a pill to swallow
I can guarantee... I'll see you tomorrow

Monday, December 10, 2007

10 December 2007

Insomnia strikes again... here I am, knowing I should be sleeping... but would rather try to make each day go by a little slower and a little longer...

Went for a regular doctor's visit last May which led to a mammogram which led to a core biopsy which led to an ultrasound which led to more specialists which leads to surgery on Wednesday... wish it could have been Sunday a while longer... and now here I am in Monday already...
I find it interesting that I come back here at this point in time. I'm not entirely ready to admit out loud that I am scared. It is much easier to whisper it on my long lost blog...