Monday, June 27, 2005

La la la la la la la la la la

I had so much fun, I wish it could have lasted all week. I have a project that was due today, but I just had to crash last night. Soooooo... tonight is going to be a long one I'm afraid.

I'd love to be a woman of leisure. There are so many cool things I would do to keep myself busy and out of trouble... well, OK, I'll settle for just being busy. ;)

In the mornings: I'd sleep in until 9am, go to my personal gym, do weights, cardio, 40 laps of the pool, and finish up in the sauna. In the afternoons: I'd go for lunch with my friends, take some art classes, golf, travel, write, take pictures, visit family, shop, cook and bake. In the evenings: I'd read, and read some more, watch a movie, go watch a play or listen to a symphony or a band, come home and sit in the hot tub and sip some cabernet... sigh.

My la-la timer just went, back to reality...

Saturday, June 25, 2005


I'm brewing a jug of sangria for a lovely Saturday evening. It really feels like summer today! I'm going to go horseback riding, sit by my friends' pool, sip sangria, jump on the trampoline, take the quad for a ride, get silly, get dirty (and I mean mud-dirty), BBQ, watch the stars by a campfire, and toast summer. Not necessarily in that order....
Have a great weekend and cheers to you from me!


Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Just a quickie...

Well, there's always a time and a place for one. You know I meant a quick blog entry, right?

What would you try if you weren't afraid of failing?


Tuesday, June 21, 2005

The Shortest Night of the Year

Well, it's the shortest night of the year - how do you plan on celebrating?

I had a little nap from 3 - 5 pm, thought it was the next day when I woke up, had supper (I think) and then made it through a couple of tornado warnings. One was pretty close... I'm going to enjoy the blue skies while sipping a cold one and then call it a day. I saw the sun come up at 4:17 am but I don't think I'll be able to make it to sunset tonight. Yawn... stretch...

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Happy Day

I never grew up with my biological sperm donor. I called him dad for a while, until I really got to know him. Just because they contributed to your gene pool, doesn't mean you have to like him/her.

I really feel for all of those kids out there who don't have a dad/father figure in their life. I remember it being a really rough day, in fact it still is...

Guys, be good to your women and women, expect nothing less.

Friday, June 17, 2005


Like the new look?


I'm finally in a better head space. I've been wanting to blog, but all I could ever think up of was negative things to say. Things are going better today. It's been a rough week, but things are really moving in a good direction.

You know what I just noticed as I was sitting here typing in my tank top? I have a farmer's tan! How did that happen?! I didn't realize I was getting so much sun, we've had such crummy weather. I'm going to have to work on that or people are going to start buying me John Deere paraphernalia. (Who knew that's how you spelled paraphernalia?)

I've been asked to apply for two different jobs this summer. I feel honored to even be given special consideration for them. Both are incredibly interesting and would be great for the resume. I would like to take at least one of them on, but when I looked on the calendar, I've somehow lost my July. I don't know how I'm going to be so many places all at once. I need a personal assistant.

Oooo, wouldn't that be fun!! Gee, I'm grinning ear to ear. What things/tasks would you get an assistant to do for you?

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

If you can't say something nice...


Monday, June 13, 2005


Someone searched "naked female bloggers" and came up with my site. Yikes. I don't quite recall writing about golfing naked. Funny how things work.

One of the days revelations: lawyers can be really great. My lawyer was my friend today and I'm thankful for this. Yikes. Lawyers and good people usually don't show up in the same sentence. I wonder if anyone will search "lawyer good person" and come with this blog?

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Procrastinateur Extraordinaire

That is what I am right now. I am sitting here in front of my computer so overwhelmed with everything that I should be doing that I feel frozen in this yucky head space.

Six days until the ex becomes someone else's ball and chain and I'm still being stubborn. He's pulling all the stops and trying to guilt me into submission. I don't play that role anymore - my "yes dear" days are SO over. Consequence can be a real bitch and so can I. The ironic thing is that I derive no sense of pleasure from this, after years of being his "little woman", totally at his beck and call, the last thing I want is to be in this position. One more week...

While I'm whining - my grandparents are probably going to have to move out of their home into a longer term care facility. I'm really struggling with this. They are the definition of a true matriarch and patriarch of a huge family. Life is so short. Everything comes full circle. These cliches ring a little different when you're experiencing them. How roles so quickly become reversed where those who have cared for you for so long require care themselves. I grieve for their sense of loss as much as I do my own. I can't imagine what it must be like to slowly start to lose a life partner that you've been with for over 50 years...

Who am I kidding, I can't imagine even having a life partner at this point. You know when you get a feeling like you're going to be single forever? What scares me is the quiet acceptance that I feel about this. After a night out on the town, my optimism hasn't really increased. I'm just tired of getting hit on and then accused of being a tease when I don't put out or cough up a phone number. Don't get me wrong, it was great for my ego, I just miss hangin out with the boys - my guy buddies. I miss being able to drink and get stupid and laugh at crude jokes and dance and flirt and just be myself and best of all - be safe; emotionally and physically.

OK, I know I'm really whining now. :(

I've got to get to sleep before 3am and I have enough work in front of me to last until tomorrow night. I'll try to wrap up my pity party of one before I blog again.

UPDATE: I decided to test the limits of my procrastination and I watched a movie - Finding Neverland. If you haven't seen it, buy it. It will help you cry the tears you never knew were there.

Saturday, June 11, 2005

The Warrior Within

OK, anyone who's gone through a divorce probably knows the stress and the back and forth stuff that has to happen before the paperwork can be finalized. I've been trying so hard to get to this point for 4 years and now that my ex is trying to get married - next weekend - things are full force.
I won't budge. I gave up so much for this man's career and education that I'm not going to give up my future as well...
It's just so tiring being stubborn and fighting for myself.

Friday, June 10, 2005

What's Up with Next Blog

Pretty much anyone who I've ever "talked" to/communicated with on the computer has been through the "Next Blog" function of Blogger. I haven't tried the "Next Blog" thing for a few months and now mostly what comes up are commercial sites What's up with that?

Have you ever tried using "Next Blog"? You never know where it's going to take you...


Wednesday, June 08, 2005

My ring found me

I've been looking for a turquoise ring for about 2 years now. It finally found me! Here it was sitting in this little tiny gift shop the whole time. I'm so happy to wear it. It's a beautiful bright turquoise with dark markings on it and detailed silver work around the stone. It matches a pair of earrings I got from this psychic I some time ago. The earings are turtles with the turquoise stone as the back of the turtle. This psychic told me that I was very much like a turtle, and before I could get offended, he explained that because I had the ability to make where ever I am living my home. :)

The more time I spend here, the more I feel like it is "home". What's really helped is the community of people I've met, especially in the last few weeks. It's wonderful to be with like minds. Even though I'm an "outsider", I feel like I've found an instant family with many uncles, aunties, and sisters. I'm the young'un in the group, but it's nice to have a sense of support and people to turn to and ask why and because why. Wisdom is a precious gift to share...

Monday, June 06, 2005


I'm still here...

One of my favorite lines from Jurassic Park goes something like: all this time we wondering if we could, perhaps we forgot to ask if we should. Something to consider in so many aspects of life, of learning, of "technological progress", of relationships, and so many of life's decisions.

I'm neck deep in projects right now and loving every minute of it. I love what I do. :) I just wish I could achieve more of a balance. This going to bed at 3 or 4 or 5 in the morning can be rough.

Well, I have a few hours of work ahead of me and I better get to it. I've actually planned a night out this weekend after a month of hermit life. It'll be good to shake it up a little (Sam smiles).