Ponderings of a Procrastinator

It’s much harder to write on here when there is no rant, rave, angst, despair, or sadness...
Perhaps feelings of contentment and peace are harder to articulate. How can one say their soul sleeps quietly now? How do you explain that lazy-cat-sleeping-in-the-sun kind of purr? I wouldn’t know – I’m a dog person myself…

A sound resonates deep in my soul
Reminding me I’m connected, I’m complete,
I am whole.
∞

Capt. Sam's Blog Date: Week Two

Has it only been 2 weeks!?! I wish I knew how to enter pictures and then you could see my face right now. In just 2 weeks, I have been so many "places"... I had to take a step away the last couple of days, partly because of real life obligations, but partly because I was a little overwhelmed.
Things I noticed this week... friendships that start on-line progress much faster than in person. I think this is because we are forced to be succinct with our words and quick with our responses. The only elements of danger that we must contend with concern our own personal demons, fears, regrets, and insecurities. There is control to edit a post, delete a comment, or block a sender. What this does, is it opens the paths of communication so that honesty and vulnerability can exist along side with hope and curiosity.
The Land of Blog is a place where there is an addictive adventurous quest of what's on other people's minds, there are voyeuristic ventures into forbidden places and then there is the allure of the Sirens of the Site Meter.
I'm glad I'm not living in that time-consuming world anymore, because anonymous interactions cannot replace the joy, passion, and elation of true human connections.
Don't get me wrong, I still plan to visit... just daily, not hourly.

Morning Thoughts

Well, insipirational ones anyway...

"You rarely achieve more than you expect." - Carol Grosse
"How you do anything, is how you do everything." - T. Harv Eker
"A day is not too much to get through." - Jane Goodall
"Just do it." - Nike

Any to add?

My Walking Feet

I went out again today on my walking feet – kind of like training wheels really. I’m still a little wobbly and my steps are a little unsure…
I’m sure that somewhere in these legs of mine is a deep sense of muscle memory. I’m obviously still amnesiatic. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other and telling myself: “don’t think, just do”. That mantra, while maybe a little reckless, has gotten me to jump out of an airplane and SCUBA in the middle of the night to play with an octapus. I landed on my feet and came up for air and lived. Not survived, lived. Big difference.
Well, as the momentum builds, I will keep in mind that every action has an opposite and equal reaction, but more importantly, once something is in motion, it will continue to remain in motion until something stops it…
I don’t see an end in sight so I continue to cut my own path and put one foot in front of the other.

And I'm Off...

I’m off to a fine start this morning. I took the absolute most unflattering pictures of myself, put on my running shoes, and went out into the world of trails. The next picture I'll take will be race-day. Yes, there are the personal goals of running a road race, but there is also the fact that I will be a bridesmaid in a purple sleeveless gown… Can you relate ladies? I AM NOT GOING TO BE THE CLICHÉ SINGLE DESPARATE HIDEOUS LOOKING BRIDESMAID AT THE WEDDING. (I’m not yelling, I’m just stating my declaration.)

La la la la la, moving on… It feels like spring today. Yes, us Canadian folk get spring. I’m sure the nice weather is just a tease, but a little tease of spring is better than a cold blast of winter snow up my jacket.

Hope you guys get a taste of spring today too.

Blog Therapy

It’s called getting out of the house, playing outside, meeting someone for lunch… mixed with a little retail-therapy, I think it did me wonders! Wow, did blogging ever spiral into an addiction fast. Phew, I’m blown away as to how much time I was spending on it.
This will be my third and probably hardest week in beating the nic-fix, but I know I certainly can’t spend the extra time that I will now live longer devoted to checking what someone had to say in Lichtenstein. So, in my search to find a healthier habit, I’ve signed up for a road race 3 July 2005.
You’ll know when I’m training because you will feel the shock waves from where ever you are in the world. No, it's not another tsunami, it's just that New Balance doesn't absorb THAT much shock. Ha ha. Just joking. Well. Maybe not. Was that my a** I just saw in the mirror? That could not be MY a**... Oh, just slap me ;)

My Sweet Sunday Smile

My sweet Sunday smile I coyly display
To all of those who are passing my way
In person I’m bound by society’s norms
In here I am Sam
I do not have to conform
The filters of propriety, I joyfully cast off
Delight in my pleasures, I even get off
On a tangent of humanity, grief, and sorrow
I wait in high hopes for your news tomorrow…

"Women and all their girly habits..."

I'm having the greatest girlie-girl day. There’s nothing like soaking in the tub, reading smutty magazines, deep-conditioning your hair, doing your nails, and simply relaxing.
I’m making home-made soup today. Does anyone else out there still boil the bones (turkey, chicken) to make soup? I just thought that’s what people did – until my friends told me I was weird. Wait a minute… what if they weren’t talking about soup. Hhhmmm.
It’s been a TV-Free day. It’s been nice. Instead of just hearing about Tsunami aid, I went through every closet and put together a couple garbage bags of clothes and linens to send over. Talk about win-win. I now have more room in my closet and someone benefits from my spring cleaning. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve still got my Liz Claiborne little black dress. I think there’s a balance between altruism and vanity – I like my clothes. (She says sheepishly).
Hope you’re having a great day mes amis.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

I went out visiting this morning. The caring and understanding that can be extended among strangers is absolutely fascinating. The level of emotion can be called karma, human nature, God's gift, circle of life...
To me, this is a symbol of hope, the fuel for change, and the reason to live beyond surviving.

There's a run in my panty hose...

This is a curiosity question that is as annoying as a run in my panty hose:

Why are the barns black in Kentucky, USA?

Do you have any annoying questions?

Curiosity and the Cat

I'm still thinking about a post on Becky's Blog... meeeeeowww. This whole situation of cybersex, cheating, IM (thanks for enlightening me Becky :), blogging - and human relationships.
How many of you are single? How many think this is a viable means of finding a mate? How many are using this to seek out "relationships"; and if so, what do you expect from these "relationships"?
I don't know... for those of you who responded that there is a difference between interacting in person, whether it be sexual or not, versus via the computer, I'd have to disagree. I really don't see a difference. I value and appreciate the comments I receive. The very fact that I, personally, place a sense of value on this, denotes that there is a level of emotion involved.
I don't think people would blog if they weren't seeking a response and a response from a complete stranger would be better than none at all. It's something about human nature to seek attention and acknowledgement. Computer communication becomes problematic when the meaning you attach to whether or not you get a response affects behavior.
What happens when someone's words actually begin to mean something to you? What do you do with that? How has blogging affected your life?
From a girl who has worked hard on being single and unavailable for a couple of years, I thought blogging would be a safe way to be remain emotionally unattached but I really don't know if that is possible...

It's now later on in the day...
Man, if you made it this far, I'm impressed. This is the philosophical, introspective, and sometimes annoying side of me. Always "why" this "why" that. I just picked up Mondavi to hang out with tonight, we're going back to 2001, wish it were 1997, but it'll do. There's nothing like Cabernet Sauvignon to soothe my French soul.

Bravo!

Just thought I'd share that I am now over 2 weeks smoke-free. Yay for me!!! I certainly appreciate how going around from site to site has helped keep my mind and hands busy.

I was never a real die-hard smoker. A pack would last me all week - but an addiction is still an addiction. Funny thing is that I really only started when I wanted to keep someone away. I would put the cigarette all around my hair and my clothes so they would get all stinky. It was my secret sex-repellent, a force-shield from unwanted attention. How silly is that?

Well, the coast is clear (and has been for some time), so I figured it's time I stop being so childish and just grow up. I was a closet smoker too, hardly anyone knew I smoked. You've never seen me looking so ridiculous; a grown woman hiding behind a building puffing away on such a disgusting little habit.

Well, maybe you have, but you know what I mean...

Capt. Sam's Blog Date: Week One

Well, it’s been one week in the Land of Blog…

[I have to tell you, I have a serious problem with the word “Blog”. I think of Jim Carey in that movie: do NOT go in that website, I just left a huge blog!
(Pardon the bathroom humor…)]

Things I’ve noticed randomly going through blogs this past week:
The desire for human connection (and I’m not talking about those kind of sites). The outpouring of grief and sorrow from so many people; does this mean we do not have safe outlets to do this within our own lives? I don’t think I do… A sense of vulnerability of being “out there”, often unprepared, alone and accessible in the Land of Blog. A sense of joy with writing, playing with words, syntax, diction – I just love the linguistics (wouldn’t want to Freud that word wrong) involved with sending a message without being too verbose (a little to the left). The value of: intonation, gestures, visual input, and prior background knowledge of the person you are trying to communicate with. How so little can say so much about a person...
The number of children/teenagers/adults who use this as a daily means of communication and have been doing so for a long time. How many people have never heard about blogging! How you can just randomly come across such interesting and intriguing people like yourselves. (Sam smiles…)

Read the fine print

Sometimes I wish people could read some of the fine print that should be on me. I would have a disclaimer that would probably read: she thinks she's funny, often puts foot in mouth, and honest (sometimes to a fault)... :(

What would your disclaimer/fine print say?

Gritchy and Franky

I'm feeling a little gritchy (grouchy + bitchy) and franky (frisky + cranky). So if you're expecting my usual cheerful self, check in later...

Anyone want to let me in on the Laundromat Code? I've always had my own Maytags; however, circumstance dictates that should I want clean clothes, I must suffer the laundromat experience. When I sit and look at the people frequenting this establishment, I wonder how on earth my clothes come out cleaner after being swished around the same receptacle as their underpants. One of life's mysteries... And to the person who wonders why bubbles erupt from the machines I use, it's just a minor outburst of OCD tendencies and the deep desire to eliminate any possible contamination of my... things - I am very well aware that I am using far too much soap thank you very much.

So this is what happens today. I decide I'll take an early shot at spring cleaning and I wash every linen in this house plus all the other clothes. When I say linens, I mean every towel, blanket, doily, curtain - 20 loads later you get the picture. I realize I am using all of the machines except one. Note, I did leave one machine empty in the event someone else might need to suffer through laundry as well. I had the best of intentions. I had to do 2 rounds of wash and dry so it would have saved time if I used the machine, but again, I thought it would be kind to leave it empty. Well, wouldn't you know more and more people came in. One guy washed but left his stuff in the machine and then another girl came in and she was just the biggest...

No point in continuing, it must be getting boring for you to read my ranting. End of the story is, man I could have bleached her socks all right. Grrrrr....

Oh well. I'm sure I'll forget all about it when I crawl into bed tonight with my Gain-Original-Scent-Bounce-Outdoor-Fresh-flannel sheets.

All alone.

Great, now I'm franky again.

Sigh.

5 - 6 - 7 - 8...

For some reason, I think I am a singer today. I have been prone to break out in song on a moment's notice. The unfortunate thing is, I can never remember any lyrics, there's a little chance I might be softly off key, and it's the same damn song that keeps resonating somewhere upstairs.
Plus, there's a little something I'd like to share. Call it a confession if you will... Doh, maybe I can't do this after all...

What songs get stuck in your head?

Comfort

I came across this line I wrote when my friend's father passed away:

While our time here on this Earth is short, the legacy we leave behind lives in all of those whom we have touched...

I find that so many of the blogs I come across are from those who are suffering such grief and sorrow. If you're one of those people, may you find even a little bit of comfort with these words.

Dang Nabbitt...

Clutter....BE GONE!
Dang Nabbitt, it didn't work, I guess I have to do it the old fashioned way: one piece at a time.
Sigh.
Hope your day is going well.
I'll check in when the chores are done.
Hi ho hi ho hi ho.

I can do anything...

Hoo ya, or whatever it is that Marines say. I've accomplished some big goals the last few days. So now it's time to move forward and carry on to a new set of goals.
To all of those who have kept their New Year's resolutions and all of those who are workin on it, best wishes. Volition is a mighty and powerful accomplishment.
That's it for now...

I've Profiled...

Ok, I'm getting a little braver and I've now included a profile for myself. Still a little shy about sharing more - maybe reluctant is a better word. Shy is probably the last word people would use to describe me...

Personal observation/query for today:
Why is it that there are so many people who take such great joy in others' misery?
I'm not talking about global issues, I mean the minute, insignificant details in life. I'm one of those people that gets a good parking spot, I seem to be at the right place and the right time, I have been blessed despite many hardships. Why are there those who insist on attempting to "squelch" (my own version of squelch; it's a comination of squish and quench) spirit and mute my jubilance (not too sure if this is a word either)?

Ideas anyone?

Here's another question for you. What a weird combination of movies, books, and musical artists I have! It just looks so strange for them to appear as such on my profile.

Curiosity - anyone interested in giving me your anthropoligical musings?

Conversing

Like I've mentioned in my other blogs, I am new to this whole thing. I think I've figured out the alure, the hold, and the borderline obsession I now have with randomly looking through blogs and even responding to them...
First there were answering machines, then caller ID, then caller ID with voice-mail, along with that, email, text-messaging...now there are BLOGS. All perfect examples of communicating without actually conversing with someone.
Isn't it great to just be able to say your own point of view without being inter...
Gotta go, my phone's ringing!



Never mind, my machine will get it.

Pendulum

How can a human go from joy, elation, satisfaction to despair, exhaustion, and angst (one of my favorite words by the way...) in a blink of an eye? Is anyone out there? Is anyone actually reading this?

Greetings

This is so weird...
If you somehow come across this blog, can you leave me a comment? Let me know how you found this blog and who are you?

The Land of Blog

The land of Blog is a funny funny place where everyone has a funny funny face...

Ok, I'm new to blogging, I just went through the whole set up procedure and now... I can't remember my passwords, url, user name...

This might be the one and only entry...